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The Meaning of Life

As a preface, I'd like to say that life really isn't fair sometimes. As a philosphy minor, even in my junior year of college they still hadn't told any of us the "official" meaning of life. As a matter of fact, they hadn't told us anything definite at all, although I've learned lots of things that don't work. I guess maybe they're saving all the good answers for grad school.

Anyway, it doesn't matter that they're keeping quiet, because I've figured it out for myself. It took some effort and hours of thought, but I came through. And since I value the truth so highly, I'm going to share it with you all, here and now...

GIVEN THE TRUTHS...
1. Life is not fair.
2. Wherever you go; there you are.
3. A stitch in time saves nine.
4. A penny saved is a penny earned.
5. Close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades.
6. The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.
7. The only things that are definite in life are death and taxes.

YOU COULD SAY...
That the only things wherever you go - a stitch, a penny, the grass - are always greener close on the other side of the fence of life, is not fair; only, there you are - horseshoes and saved hand grenades. In time a penny earned in life saves nine in death, and taxes are definite counts.

YOU MIGHT ALSO SAY...
Life, in time, is always definite wherever you go. On the other side of the penny, a close stitch that counts is the only thing saved there. Only in horseshoes and taxes are death, a penny, and hand grenades earned. It is not fair the greener grass saves you nine.

BUT THE TRUE EXPLANATION OF LIFE IS...
Horseshoes and nine counts of taxes are the only things that - wherever a greener grenade is in the grass - saved a penny stitch. In time, only life and death save you a definite penny, the fence is not earned. On the other hand, life is fair - go you inside there always.

Update: After failing a philosophy class I gave up on the idea of being a philosophy minor. (Appropriately enough, it was metaphysics: the study of the nature of reality. I've always had problems with that ... ) Just thought some of you might find this significant in light of the other things I've just told you.


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